My neighbor has a rooster. Now to clear things up a bit, I do not live on a farm. I am not a country boy. I live on a MAJOR BOULEVARD in Baton Rouge. And roosters are not allowed in the city limits.
That sets the stage for one of my worst moments since the birth of my new child.
Many new parents can agree, when you have a new child, sleep is a comodity that you would pay any price for an ample supply. So when you have a rooster next door, this creates a problem. I would first like to clear up any misunderstandings about roosters. 1.) If you're like me, you thought roosters only crow when the sun comes up.... This is not true. They crow ALL DAY LONG. At least the one next door to me does. Maybe he's blind... 2.) They don't say "cock-a-doodle-doo," it's more like "RRK-A-RRRRRK-A-RRRR!"
Now let's talk about baby monitors. They are so sensitive that if two ants outside the window of the baby room were having an arguement, it would sound like you left the TV on Jerry Springer. So when you combine the rooster that walked into our yard up next to the baby room window, and the baby monitor.... It sounded like that friggin rooster is standing on my chest screaming in my face. I think my ears were bleeding.
Being that I have been in a constant state of sleep deprivation, I wasn't clearly thinking when I jumped out of bed wearing only my boxer briefs and a wife-beater undershirt to go kill the rooster. I picked up a piece of base board laying around and headed out to ensure that we were having chicken for dinner.
So at 6:00 in the morning I was in my front yard, on a busy boulevard, cars all around, chasing a rooster around my front yard screaming "DIE BIRD, DIE!!!" BTW, roosters don't run in a straight line, they zig-zag... I can't imagine what the people going to work were thinking while watching that. I didn't care.
When I finally got back in bed, slightly sweaty, dignity lost, I realized it was 15 minutes until my son needed to be fed.
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