In the past month or so I have done some introspection, some soul searching. After careful evaluation, I have decided there is nothing wrong with me... It's all the stupid people around me that are the problem. We're not talking about the Bill Engval "here's your sign" type people. We're talking deliberate stupidity. Willing stupidity. How can one EXPECT me to stay sane when you're purposefully causing my blood pressure to rise?
For instance:
1. contractors, repair men, cable guys, utility companies... These are the only professions where it is okay to just NOT SHOW UP. Friday night the air condition in our house went out.
Me: "Oh, its extra charge for you to come out and fix the air during the weekend?? That's fine. How much will it be?"
Him: Well sir, with the drive, the gas, the parts, the air conditioner evaluation... that will be roughly...Your first born child.
Me: "And if I just wait until Monday?"
Him: Well sir, that would be one tenth the cost.
Me: "I shall wait til Monday then. I have gotten attached to my son."
There are a couple things that came to my attention during the weekend.
- 1. I have NO IDEA how people lived in an era without AC. Call me a weenie, I don't care. Our house got up to 94 degrees inside. "Back in MY day all we had was open windows and maybe, just maybe an attic fan." Congrats. You are more of a man then me. I felt like I was at enemy interrogation center. Couple more hours and I would have told them the location of the supply lines for the soldiers. I digress.
- I'm not sure how babies continued to be made without AC. I know where they come from, but in 94 degrees, while lying in my bed in a pool of my own sweat, that was the LAST thing I thought about. Heather and I had the agreement: don't even touch each other. Not a pinky toe. Especially my furnace of a wife. I almost slept in the truck just to be away from her body heat.
Monday comes, and the air conditioner repair man says "I'll be there somewhere between 8am and 5pm." Well... thanks for narrowing that down for me. Shall I wait in my hot box for you? Between 8 and 5? I can't imagine telling my boss "I will be at work somewhere between 8 and 5, so... see ya then."
12:00 rolls around. "I'll be there in an hour."
2:30 I call him... "On my way, 20 minutes."
3:45 I call him and don't get an answer.
4:30 he shows up, looks at the AC, "I need to go pick up a part."
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?! I will STAB YOU!!!
He shows back up at 5:30, spends five minutes doing, I don't know, a sudoku, and is done. AC is working. If you are THAT good, where you can fix this joker in FIVE MINUTES, and clearly you are the Good Will Hunting of AC work... WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO GET HERE? Why could you not tell time? Aaaaahhhhh...
The second group of people that are consistently annoying me are those that are SERIOUSLY political. I don't mind people that have a political opinion, in fact, I feel you should be aware of the issues at hand and be able to make a decision based on facts, values, opinions... whatever. But my word... EVERY post on your facebook, EVERY conversation you are involved in inevitably turns political... BUT since this is MY post, I will voice MY opinions on the subject:
1. Obama is not the antichrist. I do not agree with most of his policies. I will not be voting for him in the next election. But my word... every post?? EVERY POST?? These people cannot control the urge to interject their opinions into EVERY conversation regardless of whether it even makes sense to do so. For instance:
Me: Man, the air condition went out in my house this weekend.
Them: That's because Obama is selling your house to the Chinese.
Me: Yeah, wait... what?
And it's always followed by how it's legit because Fox News did a story about it... which brings me to my next problem.
2. Every news agency is BRUTALLY BIASED. I just want there to be a news station that truly covers unbiased news. And before you say something like "CNN is pretty unbiased." No... No they're not. Take the following fictitious story.
With the world in financial crisis, some countries have been selling their weapons to war torn countries, allowing those countries to slowly and ominously build their arsenals. President Obama has stressed that the world needs to come together to prohibit these actions from happening. He stated that diplomacy must be the means by which action is to occur. Republicans feel he is moving too slowly and innocent men, women, and children are being killed while sanctions are having little effect.
Here's the titles for the BREAKING NEWS on the following news stations
NBC: Obama comes to the rescue to rid the world of weapons.
Fox News: Obama hates babies and turns his back while innocent die.
ABC: Obama heals the sick and casts out demons
CBS: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are engaged. Millions suffer.
Same news story, very different takes on reality.
I've been watching too much Dexter lately. Each time I watch Dexter I think "well, I'm a forensic scientist. This is not that hard to do."
Creepy thought pattern, I know. But sometimes I find myself aimlessly shopping online for a boat.
