I'm that stupid

I recently took the GRE.  I took many practice GRE exams and each one came back basically telling me I'm not as smart as I think I am.  That's a pretty hurtful realization.  It was confirmed when I took the ACTUAL GRE exam.  I didn't do terribly bad, but I did bad enough to where I got up, walked out, and immediately bought a "regular" coke -not diet- and a bag of tear and share M&Ms. (I did not share)  
   Here's a little food for thought:  A recent study showed that 80% of people believe they are smarter than most of the people around them.  80%....  This brings about two thoughts. 
1.)  20% of people thought to themselves "ya know, I'm probably stupider than most of the people around me."  That's kind of sad right?  Who would say that?  Even if you thought you weren't the brightest crayon in the box, you would certainly look around and say "well I gotta be smarter than THOSE guys..."  Bad self esteem, party of one, your table is ready.
2.) Clearly 80% of people CAN'T be smarter than most of the people around them.  It's a mathmatical impossibility.  If you don't realize that, it's because you are in the 20%... don't get your feelings hurt. 

Anyway, I took this test thinking I could wing it and do pretty well.  I would like to blame my scores on having graduated college seven years ago and just being "a little rusty", but that wass obviously not the problem.  The problem is that I have no vocabulary.  I was going to say I have no vernacular, but that would be pretentious.  Some of the questions on this test looked like this:

Find the antonym to the following word

Blagotivational
A.  Herpatomival
B.  Zappatoe
C.  Pip
D.  Dogmitavion

Not only do I not know what the word means, I don't know the meaning of the answer choices either.

Another question looks like this:

Analogies...

Mouth is to Tree as:
A.  Bird is to Knot
B.  Chair is to Tissue
C.  Hip is to Hop
D.  Herpatomival is to Dogmitavion (see previous question for meaning)

What?!?!?  Keep in mind, you only have 15 seconds to answer each question.  So then I start justifying my answers.  Well, I wouldn't put my mouth on a tree... or so I wouldn't put a bird on a knot.  Oh dear lord, I'll just come back to this one...

If I wanted to have someone tell me I'm stupid, I would just go to more family reunions. But it adds a little to have someone quantitate your stupidity though.  "Hello, Mr. Paul, you are _____ % dumb."
 I almost expected the computer to have a follow up question after the test:  Please type the name of your school again, we need to have that school audited. 

The test kindly reminds me that I can take the test again in a month.  Hey guys, there's NO WAY I will increase my skilz enough to make a difference.  And my ego can't take the hit again in a single calendar year.  I need it to be built up again by my wife telling me "I love you no matter how stupid you are...." Gee thanks, babe.  I feel better already.  Pass me the M&Ms.